Professional Girlfriend
by rosexknight
Summary: In a fit of (drunk) desperation, Mr. Gold turns to Craigslist to find someone to pose as his date for a business party. To his surprise, a beautiful brunette turns up at his door. And she's not a serial killer, but a professional in what he needs.
1. Chapter 1

Professional Girlfriend

By: RosexKnight

 _Prompt: "i need a date so i'm hiring you off criagslist, please don't be a serial killer"_

Chapter One

Sometimes, Gold hated his status.

It was true that while owning the sleepy town of Storybrooke in middle of nowhere Maine might not have been an impressive feat, being the second half of one of the best lawfirms on the easy coast was. Back in the day, Midas and Gold were a force to be reckoned with. With Gold and his team in Custody and Divorce and Midas and his team in Small Claims and Federal, they were nigh unstoppable. Everyone either wanted to be them or be the one to take them down. Now, it was just Midas running things, with Gold having retired to a small-town pawn shop years ago.

And yet, he still had to make an appearance every now and then at a business party or two, which was all fine and dandy, until he had to bring a date. A date. That was a laugh. Milah had left him and their young son years ago, and he shuddered at the thought of even inching a toe towards Cora. The problem was, when he looked back at things, those were his only options. He barely talked to any other women, unless one counted Granny at her diner (he didn't) and Madame Mayor (ew) he simply didn't talk to any other women.

Good lord he was hopeless. But image was everything, and Gold simply could not afford to look the way he felt. He'd spent years building up his reputation and he'd be damned if he was going to let going stag to a party tear it down.

But what on Earth did people even do in this occasion? Perhaps one of his friends knew someone. Then again any woman Jefferson knew was bound to be as eccentric as he was. He could always hire someone. But ordering and Escort was far too expensive for one appearance at a party, and he'd rather not go through the awkwardness of explaining that no he in fact did not want sex. What he needed, then, was a professional fake girlfriend.

Completely hopeless.

In a fit of rare desperation that he vowed would never happen again, he turned his attention to the one place he knew would get results. Craigslist. "Single man seeks fake girlfriend to use as arm candy for high-end business party" didn't seem like the right way to start it, and it was an entire hour (and multiple glasses of brandy) before the ad was complete and up.

It only took him fifteen minutes to get a response. Gold gave her the details. A place to meet, time, and wardrobe guidelines. He couldn't have her showing up looking as if she wasn't his girlfriend after all. It was only after the email was sent that he realized he'd given her his home address.

"You've lost your bloody mind, old man." He muttered to himself that night as he tied his usual Windsor knot. "Completely lost it."

He'd given his home address to a complete stranger. A complete stranger he'd hired over Craigslist. While it was true that there were rarely reports of men falling victim to the predators of that site, he was a wealthy man with no family nearby or any besides his son. No one would really think to look for him. Hell, there were a few people in Storybrooke that would no doubt love to look the other way if it meant he was harmed.

That was it then. This was how it would end. Dressed in a personally-tailored suit in his house with a tie that was too tight and a wrinkled jacket. He simply had to accept that fact and move on with his night. He was vaguely wondering if it would be inappropriate to send Neal a few last words when the doorbell rang.

Too late then.

Cursing under his breath, he limped to the door, completely prepared to find a gun barrel staring him down on the other side. Instead, a petite brunette stood on his porch, her brilliant blue eyes looking him over expectantly.

"Hello Mr. Gold." She said with a grin. "I'm Lacey French."

Well she was certainly the most beautiful serial killer he'd ever seen.

"I know I'm early but I wanted to go over a few things before we left. See how far we're going with this."

Gold blinked. He hadn't accidentally hired an Escort after all had he? "How far…?"

"Yes. How far back the relationship we're fabricating is? We'll need to be on the same page if we're to fool anyone. Did we meet a week ago? Do we pass on the street? What was our first date like? That kind of thing."

"You're certainly thorough."

"I've learned a thing or two. Is the dress appropriate?" She turned for him, giving him a good view of it. "I brought a few options."

The dress she wore was a black that hugged her figure nicely, and came to an appropriate length. In the back, however, there was a low-cut red bow that added a hint of romance to it. She'd worn flats, making him the perfect height for him. She'd certainly met his wardrobe standards, and looked like someone he'd date.

"No. That-that one's perf–fine. It's fine. Come in and we can talk before we leave."

He sounded like a schoolboy, but she didn't seem to mind as she stepped into his home, hovering around the entrance before walking into his living room and plopping herself on the couch, making herself right at home. He tried to ignore how much he liked her there. This was fake. For one night.

Well then, he might as well make the most of it.

"Now, Miss French…Perhaps we can, uh, pretend that we've been together for some time?"

Lacey tilted her head. "How long?"

Gold shrugged. "A few months? We could have…met in the library. Pass on the street on our way to work. Sit beside each other when we both happen to go for morning coffee…"

She giggled. "Well, a bit cliche but that works well. We can iron out the details later, but if I can pretend that you've been trying to go to the diner to time it so that you could coincidentally sit beside me or walk the same route that passes me even though it's a longer one, I'm sure I can make it work."

"And you called me cliche?"

This time, it was Lacey that shrugged. "A girl has to dream, Mr. Gold. Do we have a deal?"

"We do." Gold said, reaching out to shake her hand. He'd have to get used to touching her if tonight was ever going to play out. "And please, call me Ruben."

"Ruben." She smiled, and somehow the whole world suddenly seemed brighter. "And you can call me Belle. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

Even if she was a serial killer, Gold really didn't care anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

Professional Girlfriend

By: RosexKnight

 _Anon Prompted: What motivated Belle to take the job? Does she do this often (if so, how did she get into this?)_

Chapter Two

"So uh…how does one become a…?"

"Professional girlfriend?"

"Yes that."

Lacey gave him a grin from the passenger seat. He certainly wasn't the worst one she'd ever done this for, but was definitely the only one who'd been desperate enough to go to Craigslist. Really, they had both been very lucky the other wasn't a serial killer. He'd been a perfect gentleman as they went over their facade, even making a very good cup of tea for her. With their roles set, they were on their way to the city for the party.

"I did it for one of my friends back in highschool. Gaston. He was gay but needed to cover it up." Lacey said, giving the honest answer for once. They always asked this question. But something was making her like Gold that much more. "So I helped him by pretending to be his girlfriend in exchange for him taking me on dates, feeding me, helping me with homework, normal couple stuff. Then a big break-up happened when he came out. Everyone was shocked and had no idea. I guess something clicked and I realized I was good at it. And if you're good at something…"

"Why do it for free?" Gold gave her a grin.

"Exactly."

The conversation was light the rest of the way to the party. As they approached it, a valet took their car and Lacey had never seen a more luxurious hotel.

"It's a business party celebrating a new partnership for my old partner." Gold explained again, leaning on his cane as they walked. "It won't be too bad."

"It's the nicest place I've ever been." She said with a smile, falling into her role flawlessly. In a blink, though, she was out of it.

Gold had put her hand on her waist as they neared the room. No. That wasn't right. It was far too high.

"Put your hand lower." Lacey said, and Gold gaped at her. She rolled her eyes half-heartedly, taking her hand and sliding it to the small of her back. "Too high means we're still new. We've been together almost six months, remember?"

"But…" Gold wavered. He had no objections to this. None. At all. But her backless dress was just that. Practically backless. Gold's hand was over a rather generous patch of skin, his palm easily feeling her warmth. "Isn't it…?"

"It's only skin."

"But…"

"Look, have you and Belle had sex yet?"

It was a bold question. Not like her role at all. But it snapped Gold back into things. He just needed to be reminded this wasn't a first date. It was an official debut of his girlfriend after six months of dating.

"Perhaps." He said.

Lacey shook her head. "No no. Once you've had sex with someone things chance. Including how you touch. Too high means we haven't done anything and you're scared to touch me. Are you scared to touch me, Ruben?"

Yes. Yes he was. But perhaps not Belle. His grip on her waist tightened, and she smiled.

"No." He said.

"Have you and Belle done the mattress mombo?"

"We are not calling it that."

"Horizontal tango?"

"No."

Lacey pouted. "You're no fun."

Gold chuckled, but somehow felt…lighter. Lacey had flawlessly put him right back at ease.

"Yes. Belle and I have…made love."

Lacey blinked, but then giggled. "Well we'll go over the difference between that and fucking later, but I can work with that. Ready?"

No. No he wasn't. But it was far too late now. "Of course, dearie."

And when he put his hand on her this time, not only was it in the right spot, but he went so far as to pull her in close. Yes. That was more like it.


	3. Chapter 3

Professional Girlfriend

By: RosexKnight

 _regalcoquiprincess of Tumblr Prompted: Could I perhaps prompt that Lacey runs into one of her exs or someone from her past at the party (maybe even pretending to be someone elses date)? [just plz dont make it Keith..]_

Chapter Three

Lacey was bloody brilliant. It was as if the moment they stepped into the ballroom, crowded with suits and dresses all in little mingling circles chatting about lord knew what, she was a completely different person. Granted, he didn't know Lacey very well but judging by her occupation (or was it a hobby?) and the way she'd originally sauntered into his house and plopped herself down on his love seat he could guess she was the type of woman who didn't care what other people thought. Perhaps even the kind that would do what she needed to do to get what she wanted. Gold could admire that.

Belle was completely different.

Gold wasn't sure how much of herself Lacey had put into this facade, but It was as if she'd become a completely different person. Belle was attentive and open, listening intently to every story being told to her, laughing at all the right times, hanging on his arms as if she wanted to. And for a moment, he could believe she did.

"Punch?" He asked her as they stepped away from the third person that night telling him how much he was missed.

"Please." She said with a smile, sounding as if she needed it.

That was fine. Fetching refreshments he could do. He could be a supportive boyfriend if that's what Belle wanted.

"Little rabbit?"

The word was soft, leaving Belle's lips so only Gold could hear. "Shit…"

Gold raised an eyebrow at him as he looked up, a rather perplexed looking Jefferson before him. When the other man spotted him, they exchanged a smile. Jefferson had his quirks, but that made him a rather excellent lawyer. He'd retired like him, though he was fairly certain he and his daughter hadn't found a place to settle yet.

"Jefferson." Gold said, giving his hand a firm shake. "It's nice to see you again."

"You too, Ruben." Jefferson said, his smile turning into what seemed like a grin as his gaze fell to Lacey. "And…"

"Belle." Lacey said a little too quickly. She held her hand out to Jefferson, giving him a significant look. "It's nice to meet you, Jefferson."

Gold blinked, something akin to jealousy bubbling in his gut. Jefferson took Lacey's hand, and she rolled her eyes as he made a show of bringing it to his lips to kiss it.

"You as well, Belle. Gold never mentioned a girlfriend."

"He's pretty secretive." Belle said with a giggle, leaning on Gold the way a smitten girlfriend would. "Secretive and sweet. That seems to be my type."

Jefferson chuckled. "Yes I suppose it does. And you've hit the jackpot with Ruben." He gave Gold a grin. "You better watch this one, Gold. She's a handful."

Gold only blinked at him, but it wasn't until Lacey spoke, her voice a more natural pitch than the higher tone she'd taken on for Belle, that it all clicked.  
"Is that a hint of jealousy I detect, Jeff?"

"Nah. Well. Maybe a little." He paused, tipping his signature tophat to the two of them. "It was nice to meet you, Belle. I have to call and check on Grace. Good luck, Ruben. I'll be in touch soon. I'd love to catch up."

"Sure." Gold agreed with a nod, watching as Jefferson walked away. He was barely aware Lacey had guided them to the refreshments table until she was putting the glass of punch in his hands.

"You and he…

"Mr. Hatter was a client once." Lacey explained with a genuinely sweet smile. "I'll admit seeing him again threw me. I'm sorry for breaking character. He knows the rules, though. He won't say anything."

Gold hummed. Part of the agreement had indeed been secrecy. Besides that, he knew he could trust Jefferson. He shouldn't have been that surprised that Jefferson had hired a fake girlfriend, or that she'd had other clients in general. And he damn sure shouldn't have been jealous.

"So…" He asked before he could stop himself. "Did Belle and Jefferson date?"

She seemed to falter "That is…A bit of a complicated one but yes. I suppose you could say Jeff…shaped Belle."

"I see."

Lacey paused from piling her small plate with cookies and pastries to turn to him. Something had shifted in her eyes, her voice ever so higher, and just like that she'd stepped flawlessly back into the role of Belle.

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy, sweetheart?"

The affectionate nickname was not lost on him. And he almost resented how much he liked it. "Maybe a little."

She giggled softly, and then leaned over, giving him a tender kiss on the cheek. It was soft. Loving. Yet totally innocent for the couple that had apparently dated for months and had already been physical. You'd never know it was the first public display of affection they'd (or at the very least he'd) had. Still it made Gold's pulse skip as her soft lips left his cheek, skin tingling where they had been. Belle (or was that Lacey?) only gave him a grin.

"Good."


End file.
